Child Development: Do Mothers Love Unconditionally And Fathers Love Conditionally?
It is often said that there is the being and then there is the doing, and that these two aspects are important. Therefore, if somebody can only embrace one of these aspects, they will be out of balance.
Another way to study this dynamic is to be to say that there is the masculine and then there’s the feminine. When one is only being, they’ll be in their female; whereas when they’re doing, they’ll be in their manly.
The feminine part of them is going to let them know that their value is based on who they are, nevertheless the manly portion of them is going to tell them that it is based on what they do. Consequently, if one hasn’t integrated the former, they could be out of touch with their inherent worth.
On the other hand, if one has not incorporated the latter, they won’t feel as if they should function for anything and that everything ought to be provided for them. Both of these scenarios will lead to problems, problems which will hold them back in 1 way or another.
So, when one is out of touch with their inherent value, they can end up trying to compensate for how worthless they feel. They will believe that their value is defined by what they achieve, meaning that their entire life could revolve around attempting to achieve things.
But, even after they’ve achieved something, they probably won’t be able to savour the moment. How they feel at a deeper level will start to grow up again, causing them to look for something else to achieve.
Stuck On a Treadmill
In a way, it is going to be as though they’re trying to attain the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. They won’t have the ability to attain this gold, but they will compromise their health and wellbeing, for instance, so as to attempt and get it.
If they could take a step back and to reflect on what’s occurring, they might see how futile this is. However, the pain that is within them is very likely to stop them in order to do this.
As stressful as it’s going to be for them to reside in this fashion, facing what is going on within them will be far more painful. They could believe that they only have two choices: either they confront how they feel and feel unworthy, or they try to change how they feel by being successful.
Consequently, this person is not going to consider being, let alone allow themselves to be.
Alternatively, someone like this could only face how they feel rather than attempt and do anything about it. This will probably mean that they won’t achieve very much, and they might also be used to feeling depressed.
So while the individual above will have obtained a manly approach, this individual will have taken a feminine approach. The first is resisting their true feelings, however the next person has given in to them.
The Other Side
When it comes to someone who is out of touch with their masculine aspect, they may have a strong sense of entitlement. It can be as though their mere existent gives them the right to have everything they desire.
They are likely to see themselves as being different and special, so it’s to be expected that they would behave this way. There are a number of things that could define whether or not this person’s reality matches up with what they believe.
If someone was to come from a well-to-do background, their family members might give them everything they need. There’s then going to be no need for them to work for anything, as it’ll be dropped right into their lap – that is unless their family’s financial position changes.
Because of how they look, It’s not going to be a challenge for them to fulfil this requirement – that is until they get old
What generally plays the largest part in an adult’s masculine and female development is exactly what took place during their early years. For arguments sake, the feminine aspect is usually developed by having a mother who enjoys unconsciously, and the masculine part is usually developed by having a dad who loves conditionally.
Each parent then plays a vital role, a role that will allow the child to grow into a balanced human being. The mother will show them that they are inherently valuable, and the father will show them that while they are valuable, that doesn’t mean that they don’t have to work for things.
The mother will help the child to cultivate self-worth and the father will assist the child to nurture self-esteem, and these two elements are also connected. Putting effort in to attain things will not only allow the child to develop a sense of competence, it will also allow them to be confident too.
If a child was to grow up with only one of those influences, it may set them up to experience problems as an adult. This can be exactly what happens when a child only has one parent around, but it may also occur when there aren’t two.
A Closer Look
The child could have only one parent about and this parent could constantly tell them how amazing they are, or else they could abuse/or neglect them.
Then again, a child could have two parents still end up developing problems. 1 parent might be absent and the other could see them as an extension of themselves.
A Grey Area
The love that they want will not be provided, which may set them up to act as though they are a machine. What this shows is that it is not enough just to have two parents; they both need to be healthy people
Having one good parent and a grandparent, for example, will be better than having two poor parents and nobody else available.
If someone can see their side of their nature is out of equilibrium, and they want to change their life, it will be essential for them to reach out for assistance. This is some thing can be offered by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.